Oliver

If ever there were a religion I could get behind, I believe it would have to be led by this fellow, Oliver: The Humanzee. Now this fella here isn't something that I made up while tripping in the woods (like the space penguins) but an actual, honest to goodness Humanzee. Oliver's story, like so many other Humanzee's, is a tragic tale of lies, deceit, and poo flinging.

Oliver was unlike many of his monkey bretheren. He stood up straight, had human like features, and had the stoic attitude that is an earmark of people.

On a tour of Japan, he was touted as the missing link between humans and monkeys. Oliver was eventually purchased, ripped away from his home (where apparently he wanted to hump his owner) . The most tragic part of his life was when he finally had his DNA tested and was proven to be nothing more than a normal Chimpanzee, in no way special except he acted a little bit different.

The little fucker is still alive today, no doubt not dragging his knuckles in some cage somewhere. He is considered a disgrace to humans for his inability to blend in with the common population, and a disgrace to monkeys everywhere who see him as a sellout, referring to him as a "House Monkey".

Live long in your metal cage, my sweet prince.

On another note I will no longer be spell checking my posts, as I am sick of Spellcheck.net suggesting I replace "Fucker" with "Fickler".